Wednesday, 12 May 2010

TV, kidney stones and no full-frontal anything...

It's been nearly a month since my last post due to a variety of things which have conspired to keep me away from my keyboard.

On the plus side: our great friends Pat and Walt visited from the US to see the kids for the first time.

On the minus side: I had a bad dose of the kidney stones, which is still not over and may involve the insertion of frickkin' lasers into a part of body which, exclusively, never gets anything voluntarily inserted into it. But there you go...

Faith and Emily continue to grow at an astonishing rate and are learning and discovering new things every day. The current fad is for TV, especially BabyTV which they've decided is the greatest thing EVER (well, the greatest thing they've found in the last 14 weeks). Faith's a take-it-or-leave-it gal but little Em is rivetted by "Draco the Dragon" and "Walter and Dude". But... if you try to change the channel or if something comes on she's not so keen on she will let you know about it.

It's all quite funny really, during popular shows she gets all of her arms and legs in on the action and her bouncer rocks about like a mad thing. At points there are smiles and loud goo's and it will hold her attention for ages at a stretch.

But too much TV can be a bad thing so we're trying to ration watching hours and keep it to points where Elly needs to do something like clothes washing or eating or periods of work!

Faith seems to be the first of the girls to teethe too. There's been a lot of grizzling recently and during a particularly loud outbreak I happened to notice two little white nubbins poking through her gums so it's only a matter of time before her two front, bottom teeth are through and she's biting holes in anything that passes in front of her face - bless her, it's cute but it must hurt.

Friday, 16 April 2010

Cold in de dose...

I have a total stinker of a cold which has laid me up for the last couple of days and really screwed up the week and I'm terrified of passing it on to the girls.

I don't get to spend a massive amount of time with them at the best of times what with working in, and commuting to, London every day so I find I get really resentful when I don't get as much dad time as I'd like - but what can you do?

Gurgling is currently on the rise, Emily regularly manages a fine and varied set of baby noises whilst little Faithy is sticking with the odd dog bark and a variety of quite gutteral noises such as NNNNGAAARRRRR! I actually find myself wondering if she's not a baby genius and chattering to me in Klingon - imagine the fun we'd have:
Me: Hello beautiful, how are you today?
Faith: PATAK!!!! A running man can slit a thousand throats in one night.
Me: Are you ready for your bottle? Is my baby girl hungry?
Faith: NNNNNGAAAARRRR!!!! You fight like a Ferengi!!!!
Me: Let me just go and fetch a muslin and we'll feed you now
Faith: Bring me my Bat'leth - I will slay your people!!!
Of course, I *might* be utterly wrong...

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Time is flying by...

Nine weeks now and we've just started to see tiny smiles from the girls. Emily was the first, grinning at Elly and Faith has just started to exercise her chuckle muscles - it's the most beautiful thing in the world :)

Every day now new things seem to be happening, they're sleeping through the night now, starting to take an interest in their toys (only a very small interest though, it has to be said) and all of a sudden they're starting to get too big for their Moses baskets - what happened to my tiny, tiny babies??!!!????

Now. more than ever, I resent having to come to work and leave them for hours every day, I want to watch them eat, sleep, gurgle, scream and emit something foul from the legs of their nappies, it's a really exciting time and it makes me quite sad to think I'm missing out on even a second of it.

We always have the weekends though and last weekend, being Easter Bank Holiday, we took them up to Hull to see my family. It was a lovely weekend, we got some time off as various family members took them off our hands for cuddles and the like, but it was quite a tiring couple of days, topped off by six hour car journeys to and from Yorkshire - not something I'd like to do every weekend but we must try and get up there more often then we have been doing, I really do want them to be as close to the family as we can manage.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Sleep is for wimps!

So, we're already at seven weeks and if there's a routine to be had, we has it!

It seems that babies are creatures of routine and habit and by sticking to a routine new parents can cobble together some semblance of a life. Mostly..

We've started the going-to-bed cycle about 8ish by putting the girls in their travel cot and gathering up the 100000 bottles, bibs, muslin squares, anti-splash mats and other liquid repellent materials required for a night with twins. By 9 we should be in the bedroom and feeding should have commenced so that by 10pm at the latest they're drifting off to sleep.

This part of the equation works quite well and by 10.15 or thereabouts the house is quiet and we're all off to sleep.

Where the plan usually falls down is the 3am feed where Faith will take a full bottle then steadfastly refuse to produce the required number of burps, keeping one of us up for about 90 minutes.

It turns out this 90 minutes is THE most important period of sleep of the whole night time period and missing it leaves you in a state of mental fog for most of the day. I no longer know what day it is, can barely remember the time and occasionally forget where I live but that aside it's pretty much OK.

Emily sleeps through the night so it's just Faith that causes this lack of sleep but she's so utterly gorgeous that I forgive just about anything she does (or doesn't do) - unless it involves damaging my PCs or consoles...

Don't get me wrong here, I'm not complaining, just pointing out the facts of a twin parents life. Right now it feels like a constant round of eat, wind, change nappy, sleep, eat, wind, change nappy, sleep and I suspect it'll continue to be like that for a while yet, it's not bad, annoying or even irritating, it's just part of being a parent and it's totally forgotten every time one of the girls looks up at me with those big, clear blue eyes. It would be nice to have a night off, just to get eight hours sleep or find enough time to grab a proper bath of spend some quality time with Elly, but, that can and will have to wait and we'll be as patient as is required.

In the mean time, they are seven week sold now and we've nearly had some proper smiles. It has become a source of constant competition between Elly and I to see who can get the first proper grin so fingers crossed the girls will step up for Daddy :)

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Golden showers

Bah! Yea, you heard me, bah! I'll even say it again - bah!!

There has been an evil new twist to changing time in the Russell household and to be be honest, I'm not happy with it.

Let's be straight about something - my children are cherubs, they are the single most beautiful children ever born, they will be rocket scientists and live life to the full. In short, however good you think your children are, mine are better - FACT!

But ...

They developed a nasty habit of peeing all over me. It's very intelligent, beautiful, life fulfilling pee but it's pee all the same.

I think it's probably a voiceless protest at the process of nappy changing but surely there are better ways to object to something? A poster campaign perhaps or t-shirts with slogans on, really ladies, there's no need for this!!!

.. and to make matters worse it's all cunningly planned and goes something like this..

Step 1. Fill current nappy with unmentionable substances.
Step 2. Cry until unsuspecting parent turns up and offers to change you.
Step 3. Remain silent until unsuspecting parent has removed outer garments and reaches for the sticky fastening tapes on the aforementioned nappy.
Step 4. SCREAM.
Step 6. Don't stop to see if unsuspecting parent is listening , just SCREAM a bit more.
Step 7. Allow unsuspecting parent to remove nappy.
Step 8. Wait for gasps at horror at what you've produced.
Step 9. Look at ceiling nonchalantly while clean-up operation occurs.
Step 10. Wait for the exact second that unsuspecting parent has removed existing nappy and is as far away from a new one as is physically possible and ..
Step 11. Urinate like your life depends on it - if possible try to pee at least three times your own bodyweight over the unsuspecting parent, your own clothes, the changing mat, the cat, the wallpaper (etc etc)
Step 12. aaaaannnnnnd rest....

Oh, and one more thing... Make sure you do it at exactly 3.26am as this is the time when unsuspecting parent is least awake.

I love my children :)

Monday, 8 March 2010

Air Raid Sirens at dawn

To this point in time, night times have been merely a bit inconvenient. Emily sleeps really well and can go up to seven hours without waking and Faith likes to be topped off with milk every three hours - it breaks your sleep up but hey!, that's what parenting is all about.

Last night, things changed..

For the first (and hopefully last) time, Faith screamed the place down for most of the night. It could be colic I guess, as the usual reasons for screaming were satisfied (wet/full nappy, hungry etc etc) so the jury is out. Elly bore the brunt of the agro which was pretty grim and things only really settled down after Ell passed Faith to me and I gave her a good cuddle at which point she shut up and went to sleep - strange but true..

Other than this one incident though, things have been pretty good in House o' Crussell. Every day the girls show us new and interesting things, like a staggering propensity for farting, who knew such a small person could contain so much gas???!!! What's nice is that both girls are just starting to show more interest in their surroundings - there's a lot more evaluation going on but we've yet to see them get touchy-feely with anything.

Also, they just about fit their clothes now (the premature ones, not the ones that are marked as being for their age) so the feet holes in sleep suits now actually contain feet! There are worrying signs that they may be growing out of some items too, a quick change after a full feed results in bulging around the buttons and fasteners...

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

I am no longer the person I used to be ...

I have taken to using nonsensical words and phrases such as "bumbum" and "napnap" and everything I smell is tinged with a hint of powdered milk.. I am now officially ParentGuy(tm)